


How To Fall In Love With Your Best Friend, A Step by Step Guide.

by epanouis



Category: The Walking Dead (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - No Zombies, Falling In Love, First Kiss, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-16
Updated: 2014-09-11
Packaged: 2018-01-25 04:44:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1632260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/epanouis/pseuds/epanouis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A sure fire five step program in falling for the best friend that has always been pretty handsome, really charming, and better than you in every fathomable way. These five steps will guarantee the easiest way for your heart to realize that you're really really screwed.<br/>Nick's POV.<br/>For my sister.<br/>"But if Nick were to be hit by a bus and die tomorrow, he would say that he was pretty sure that love felt like this. So there he sat, warm beer in hand, waves of infatuation for his best friend who had fallen asleep beside him on the couch."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. They say the first step is the hardest.

**Step One: Let yourself think about them.**  
Nick was getting used to lulling into a thought, a cold beer in his hand, and snapping out of it to find the can warm beneath his fingers. He was much of a self proclaimed day dreamer. But not the kind that Luke was. Luke was the kind who would imagine some sort of marvelous life and then chase after it until he failed, ended up broke, or found a new dream to follow. He aspired to something. Nick, on the other hand, dreamt of what he wanted but thought himself never capable of having. So he never acted. And thus he was no dreamer, but only a day dreamer, someone dissatisfied with their reality but incapable of changing it.  
And these sleepy thoughts, the ones that glazed his eyes and warmed his beer, were becoming much of the same. Nick wouldn’t allow any thoughts to get him like these did. The precise shapes that Luke’s mouth made when he spoke or sighed. Each fluctuation of Luke’s voice, the different ways that Nick’s name rolled off his tongue. And _especially_ the way that sweat caught on the curves of his bare back on a summer day. Luke was basically asking to become the sexual fantasy of everyone within a certain radius, as far as Nick was concerned, for not wearing a shirt in the summer.  
So Nick thought about Luke. A lot.  
At first it seemed alright, he was sure that anyone else who had know Luke for quite as long as he did would start fantasizing about him. Luke was attractive and warm and had more redeeming qualities than not. But then it got worse, because in the back of his mind _somewhere_ was always the thought that he might kind of be in love with Luke. The might and kind of came only from a place that didn’t know what it was like to be in love. But if Nick were to be hit by a bus and die tomorrow, he would say that he was pretty sure that love felt like this. So there he sat, warm beer in hand, waves of infatuation for his best friend who had fallen asleep beside him on the couch.  
\----  
 **Step Two: Associate them with a feeling.**  
Pete had been in and out lately, Nick didn’t really care to ask where he was off to or how long he would be gone for. There was just a silent understanding that Pete would pay him to take care of the house while he was gone and the only company he could have over was Luke. Then, when he was back, Nick and him would chat about what he had been doing and they would bring up anything that needed to be done around the house. Occasionally Luke would pop by to observe the quiet conversation of Nick and his Uncle, but he learned it was generally best to leave them alone. Today was one of those days. It gave Pete the opportunity to talk about Luke, anyway.  
“Maybe I should just be buyin’ another bed for the kid. Spends enough time here.” Pete mused over his chinese food.  
“Nah.” It was better than the flat ‘no’ that Nick had immediately thought, but still quick enough to raise suspicion. The last thing he would do would admit his feelings for Luke out loud. To Pete. “He’s fine on the couch.”  
“Whatever you say.”  
This was the usual pace for their conversation, and Nick was about ninety-nine percent sure that Pete knew something was up between Nick and Luke, but he never said anything or told Luke he couldn’t come over so it didn’t seem to matter much. Nick had even considered the thought that maybe Pete was encouraging their time alone, but that seemed ridiculous. None the less, Luke had called during the middle of dinner and asked if he could come by later that evening. Pete told Nick he would be leaving soon, anyway.  
So Pete was gone and Nick sent a text to his best friend that told him he could come over whenever. Then the house got a whole lot bigger. He should clean up, do something to be a good host for once, but it wasn’t really his style. Luke wasn’t going to expect anything besides a cold beer, anyway. Half an hour later he showed up, heading straight for the beer before settling on the couch with Nick. They sat there for an hour or so, flipping through channels on the television and making fun of most of the things that were on. Then they switched gears.  
“Let’s go outside.” Was all Luke said, half determined but mostly restless. It never astonished Nick that someone as restless as Luke had stuck with him for so long. Nick didn’t know if he wanted to go for a walk or what, but the other had already started to lead the way to the roof of the house. That kind of outside.  
“Remember sitting up here as kids?” Luke asked once they had settled.  
“Yeah, sure.” Nick looked to Luke for a fond moment. “Pete used to get mad at us because he couldn’t sleep.”  
“Yeah, because we would smash beer bottles and yell at kids on the street until someone told us to shut up.”  
“We’d talk all night anyway.”  
“Yeah.”  
There was a moment of quiet affection between the two. Nick didn’t think that Luke felt anywhere near the same for him as he did, but he knew that there was a mutual recognition of each other’s importance. Nick was probably about the only constant in Luke’s life, and he was damn proud of it. They thrived on each other, were their best around each other, were a part of each other. Nothing could change that. Unless, of course, one of them fell in love with the other.  
Oops.  
It was the way the shingles felt scraping against their jeans, leaving imprints in their palms, and holding their beer cans against the twilight sky that Nick remembered. Not the conversations, the neighbours or Pete yelling. It was the way Luke’s hands would flail about when he got excited about something and Nick had to calm him down before he fell off. Not the hour they decided to finally crawl back inside. It was the feeling of sitting on top of everything that mattered, that seemed so small, and indulging in a company that never seemed to bore him.  
\----  
 **Step Three: Find a safe word.**  
“That wasn’t supposed to happen.” Luke sat in front of the static the ran across the television screen and scrunched his nose in distaste. The cable had stopped working, and there was only so much entertainment that could come out of five channels, so Luke took it upon himself to fix it. Nick wanted to wait for Pete. It didn’t work out that way. And now they sat with no television, Luke mumbling about the fact that it was thunderstorming or something. Nick started to chuckle.  
“What’s so funny?” Luke turned quickly to Nick.  
“You’re the worst repairman ever.”  
“Yeah, okay, it’s not my calling.” Luke sneered teasingly back.  
“I can live without tv for a few days.” Nick shrugged half-heartedly.  
“Time to find a hobby.” Luke fell into his usual spot next to Nick on the couch. The cushions had sunken in where the two always sat.  
“You’ll do.” Nick hadn’t intended to say that an audible volume, but it had already happened, and his mouth immediately glued itself shut. Luke really _was_ his hobby, basically the only thing he felt a degree of passion towards and what he spent most of time on. But the response still got a rise out of the brunette, who immediately sported a coy grin and a cocked brow.  
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Luke’s tone had already taken on that sing-song of someone who knew very well what it meant.  
“It means you’re stuck with entertaining me until Pete gets home to fix your mess.” Nick had no intention of taking Luke’s teasing today. But apparently, Luke had every intention of carrying through with it. He turned his torso towards Nick, resting an arm on the couch behind him, and looked so smug that Nick swore he could’ve punched him for it.  
“Kinda made it sound like you wanted to do me.” Luke was enjoying this a little too much. Nick faced him just so his eye-roll would take full effect.  
“Moron.” As in _how could you be stupid enough to only realize that now?_.  
“Jerk.” As in _how could you not want to have sex with me?_.  
But they were still facing each other and despite Luke’s pulsing ego and Nick’s irritation there was a burning curiosity. As Nick remembered, it was Luke who made the first move, closing the space between their lips slowly enough for Nick to be able to register that he would need to breathe at some point. The kiss itself was controlled mostly by Nick. First it was gentle and nervous, then it was firm and burning with anticipation of itself. It lasted only a few short minutes, though long enough to build a heat between them that Nick recalled swallowing whole as they broke away. The pit of his stomach caught fire.  
“That, uh…” Luke couldn’t find any clear words. He also couldn’t find it upon himself to pull too far away. “Was just, y’know…”  
“Circumstantial.”  
Yeah. That was it. The kiss, the whole ‘falling in love with your best friend’ thing, the way that a heat rose to Nick’s cheeks when Luke got too hot to wear his shirt, the way it felt to wake up on the couch together after a boring movie, the constant need to be together. It was all because the circumstances were right. Yeah. Circumstantial.


	2. Hold your breath until the end.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A sure fire five step program in falling for the best friend that has always been pretty handsome, really charming, and better than you in every fathomable way. In this exciting conclusion, you'll see just how the best things can come from the worst messes.  
> Nick's POV.  
> For my sister.

**Step Four: Find their limits.**  
Nick had always taken Luke to be the ‘dude, no’ type if he had ever tried to make a move. But then, it had happened where Luke had been the one to make that move and ruin Nick’s wellbeing. One kiss had successfully unwound what Nick thought he knew about Luke and questioned the validity of his one-sided attraction. From that point on, he had wondered if he should kiss him again. If maybe it was just a one time thing, if maybe it had to be thunderstorming on a Thursday night when the TV was broken and they had ordered pizza for dinner and finished it all in a race. One of those destiny sort of things. If he tried to kiss him, he might get pushed off because the circumstances hadn’t been met. Nick used to be scared of rejection more than anything, but now, he was more scared that he would never feel that horrifying awkward silence between them ever again. So what the hell, he thought.  
Four days after they had kissed, and not a word about it had been said since, Nick and Luke were back on the roof and Pete was in bed. They weren’t teenagers any more, so they weren’t yelling or making a mess, but instead enjoying the way that the night stood against their words.  
“I don’t know, man. I think Mexico is a bit overrated.” Luke laughed a bit, as their conversation had revolved around possible summer vacation destinations. Nick told him that neither of them could afford to go anywhere, but Luke kept pushing him to just play along. He was hardly listening, anyway. Just watching Luke’s lips move. So, before he could determine whether or not Luke was saying anything important or not, he had leaned in with a hand to Luke’s jaw and kissed him tenderly. Again, Luke didn’t pull back, but brought a warmth to the kiss instead, and Nick swore to feel a small sigh from his nose as they sunk into it. Just as long as the last, Nick pulled back after a minute or two, and awaited a secondary response.  
“You kiss everyone with that hat on?” Luke chuckled a bit and gave him a glance that Nick took as seductive. And the conversation continued about which countries in the world had the sketchiest tap water.  
Nick found it safe to assume at that point that Luke was kind of comfortable kissing him. Nagging in his chest was the feeling of his heart holding a piercing pain through the center, which is how he finally understood why Cupid shot arrows through people’s hearts. That’s love, he thought. _That’s fucking love._ He couldn’t stand to deny it anymore, so he fell further into a pit of self-harm, deciding the next step to take would be to test Luke’s limits. Nick thought he might as well get what he could from Luke before he pulled that arrow out of his heart, as selfish and cruel as that was. He wanted to fall out of love with him knowing what he could’ve had.  
It was the morning after a long night of horror movies, Luke asleep on the couch and Nick washing the taste of last night’s beer out with mouthwash. By the time he returned, Luke was awake, tapping out some sort of text on his phone until he met Nick’s gaze.  
“Morning.” He said with his typical gut wrenching smile. Nick had given himself a ten minute pep talk in the bathroom, so he was as ready as he could be to see how Luke would react to something more than an innocent little kiss. Luke sat up, so Nick sat beside him on the couch. He then realized how annoying it was that Luke knew him so well, because he could recognize the look that Nick gave him when he wanted to kiss him already. It was that easy. Luke leaned over to kiss him good morning, since that was surely what Nick had impressed upon him that he wanted. The kiss was warm and romantic at first, like the last two had been, but Nick’s desire for a reaction and his desire to just have as much as Luke as he could took over quickly. He slipped his tongue into the kiss first, which amounted to a noise of surprise from Luke, before he slid his tongue back against Nick’s. Nick found himself over Luke shortly after, the feeling of Luke pulling him down by his hips already imprinting in his mind. The kiss became desperate, broken only by heavy breath, then returned to with haste and a tighter grip on each other. For that moment, Nick let himself imagine Luke moaning with him in sexual frenzy without feeling an ounce of guilt. For the first and final time, Luke pulled away first.  
“Circumstantial?” Luke asked, out of breath but smiling. His grip on Nick’s hips has loosened slightly, but their position remained.  
“Something like that.” Nick answered tightly.  
Whatever that was, it was Luke’s limit.  
\----  
 **Step Five: Go all in, or go all out.**  
The truth is, when you fall in love with someone, you’re either going to want to be with them for the rest of your life or never to see them again. You’re going to want to hold them tight when they’re or you’re going to want to make them cry. When you love someone so deeply, you’ve given up on a life of ever just being in their company. You’re either in heaven or hell. Nick knew this, he told himself this every day for the next ten days, hardly speaking a word to Luke until he could gather the courage to say what he needed to.  
 _I love you, Luke. I’ve always loved you. I loved you when we were kids and I wanted to make sure when we were older we would live together and make each other dinner. I loved you when we were teenagers and I wanted you to fuck me senseless five nights a week and have all the kids at school tease me about my hickies. I love you now, when I don’t care what happens as long as you’re next to me. I love you ever goddamn second of every day and I’m tired of trying to manage it._  
Nick practiced that one a few times. But it ended in tears, ten more beers, and hating who he was in the morning. So he needed to revise that. Luke had called him three times in a row, though, so he figured it was important enough to stop grovelling for.  
“Finally, shit.” Were Luke’s immediate words.  
“Something wrong?” Nick asked, pacing around his room.  
“Yeah, you’re damn right. I’ve hardly seen you for a week and I’m tired of you being an ass to me about it. So I’m outside.”  
Nick sighed and there was a short silence.  
“You comin’?” Luke sounded pretty irritated.  
“Yeah.” Nick told him before hanging up. His eyes were tired but he couldn’t really care. Making his way to the front door seemed like such a task until he opened it. Luke surged forward, straight into him, straight into his lips, kissing him like they has been reunited from war. Nick was almost taken off balance, so he pulled away in time to catch himself, and Luke spoke almost in the same moment.  
“You’ve been trying to think of a way to tell me you love me, haven’t you?”  
Nick took Luke’s words in slowly, then let his features sink in. Luke looked tired, too, and his lip had a faint snarl, his eyebrows tense. His hands were in fists, he was wet from the rain. How long had he been standing outside? Nick’s mind ran in a hundred directions, and his words couldn’t keep up.  
“Yeah.” Nick finally managed.  
“Just say it.” Luke pleaded.  
“I love you, Luke.”  
“Yeah. I thought so.” Luke finally laughed, relieved and light.  
There wasn’t a step by step guide to follow. There wasn’t a guarantee you would end up happy, or end up bleeding out alone in your room. There was no way to fall in love with your best friend that was right or safe or exciting. There was Luke, in all his flaws and stupidity, the way his lips were always warm when they kissed, the demand to be the big spoon in the mornings, the affectionate tone of his voice when they made love, the first place they bought together. There was Nick, in all his overanalyzing, grumpy until Luke joined him in bed in the evenings, the way he would always make sure a crowded room knew Luke was his, the dog he adopted for Luke, the way he always asked Luke to join him in the shower. There wasn’t a direction that pointed them together, a certain set of rules that they followed to keep their relationship strong. There were stages of falling in love, stages of acceptance, stages of confession. There were two people meant completely and entirely for each other in every way conceivable. There were thoughts, feelings, safe words, limits, and complete trust in giving oneself to each other. And Nick had mastered it.


End file.
